New Leadership: Nice is the little brother of toxic.
We think it is right and important that we as a society discuss topics such as “toxic masculinity” and clearly name corresponding misconduct as such. Language shapes our being and our consciousness; We can only describe problems and thus make them discussable if we have words for them. Toxic is such an important word. Toxic behavior has a negative effect on many levels and we need levers to recognize it and counter it.
At the same time, I advocate using words wisely. Not to spare those who behave wrongly. On the contrary: not to take away the weight of the words.
Toxic employees and toxic executives are a huge problem for companies. Researchers at the University of Bielefeld, the Berlin School of Economics and Law and the University of Trier have found that toxic leadership behaviour (“abusive supervision”) occurs in 85% of companies. 21 percent of companies even have a highly toxic atmosphere. The effects range from lower performance to a high level of sick leave to high employee turnover and the resulting low employer attractiveness.
But how do you actually know if a manager is behaving toxically?
It is clear that not everything that is uncomfortable is automatically toxic. A toxic working atmosphere can be recognised, for example, by the following factors:
- Manipulation & fear culture: Managers play employees off against each other and fuel a climate of uncertainty and fear.
- Lack of respect & appreciation: Superiors behave disrespectfully, make inappropriate remarks, hang mistakes high and at the same time let successes fall under the table.
- Unfair or arbitrary decisions: Rules only apply to some and personal sympathies determine the career path.
- High sick leave & high fluctuation: A conspicuous number of employees want to change internally in order to evade the manager, are sick more often or leave the company because the climate is unbearable.
Managers don’t have to be nice
What is the opposite of toxic? – It is certainly not “nice”. A strong leader should not primarily be nice, but first and foremost empathetic and effective. I would even go so far as to claim that overly nice behavior can promote a toxic working atmosphere to a certain extent.
How?
Managers who confuse new leadership with being nice all the time sometimes try to maintain harmony at any cost, avoid conflict and are reluctant to say “no”. In the short term, this niceness feels pleasant, but in the long term it leads to serious problems:
- Unclear expectations: A lack of hard necessary feedback leads to uncertainty.
- Drop in performance: Employees are not challenged and therefore not encouraged.
- Inequity in the team: Weaker employees are spared while high-performers feel frustrated.
- Loss of credibility and laissez-faire: Those who cannot assert themselves lose respect. At some point, everyone does what they want and nobody does what they should.
The psychology behind too nice leadership
Why do some managers behave too nicely? – There are usually psychological reasons behind this. Humans are fundamentally social beings and strive for connection with others. This is actually good and, if used correctly, can promote an empathetic leadership style. Sometimes, however, there is another need that makes good leadership difficult: the need to be liked. This can interfere with factual decisions and often leads to managers postponing conflicts instead of addressing them, so that they continue to smoulder, poison the atmosphere in the team and reduce performance.
What constitutes effective leadership?
Good leadership, on the other hand, means being “tough” in the best sense of the word – namely honest, clear and consistent. Managers must be “legible”. For example, we advise everyone who joins a team from outside to give employees the opportunity to make appointments in which they get to know and read the manager. This way, employees know what to expect. In contrast to laissez-faire managers, effective managers express clear expectations and make difficult decisions, even those that don’t please everyone. A consistent manager sets standards, demands performance and gives feedback – even if this is sometimes uncomfortable. Consistency is not the same as toxicity. Toxic behavior is based on humiliation, micromanagement, incapacitation and fear – consistent leadership, on the other hand, is based on clarity, fairness and reliability.
Toxic or Consistent – Telling the Difference
Sometimes it is not easy to recognize whether a behavior is toxic or necessary, even if it causes resistance among individuals. Especially when there is repeated friction between managers and employees on certain topics. The following questions can help to evaluate the other person’s behavior:
- Question emotional reaction: Do I feel personally affected because I don’t like something, or is my supervisor’s behavior really destructive?
- Judging according to objective criteria: Is the decision made justified, even if it does not necessarily follow my arguments?
- Obtain feedback: How do other colleagues experience the manager’s behavior? Do they share my feelings?
- Corporate culture: Are there values and structures that enable collaborative and appreciative work?
Conclusion: A more conscious approach to toxic personality traits
Toxic employees are a major problem and can be very expensive for companies. Ideally, people with toxic behavior should not even make it onto the shortlist for important positions. AI-based personality tests can be used to identify such tendencies as early as the application process and avoid bad hires. At the same time, we need a differentiated view of human characteristics. Not all characteristics that appear “hard” to others are also toxic. Here, AI systems can also help to recognize nuances and assess the personality traits of (potential) employees and managers scale-based.
The inflationary use of the term “toxic”, on the other hand, dilutes the real problem of toxic work cultures. Only if we clearly identify the difference can we seriously combat problems and at the same time value good leadership.
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